Bushing Buttons and Birding Bridges
“Is it my bush?” Junior Constable Teddy Johns asked.
“Well, yeah, but that’s not the point.” Senior Detective Ray Baldry said as he tried to continue.
“So, if it’s my bush and there are two birds in it, aren’t they technically my birds?” Constable Teddy was not getting the point anytime soon.
“But you have one secured in your hand.” Detective Ray Baldry, for a brief second, thought he was going to win. “You don’t know if you are going to get the two in your bush.”
“But they are my birds,” replied Constable Teddy, “and what do I want to hold a bird for? Sounds like a good way to get pooped on.”
“But if you were starving and you already caught one bird, would you bother going after the two in the bush or just eat the one you already had?” Detective Ray Baldry tried again.
“If I was starving, I would probably be eating the bush rather than trying to catch birds.” Constable Teddy gave Detective Ray Baldry a look that a grade school teacher would reserve for a child who was just on the edge of understanding. “You don’t need meat to survive.”
Detective Ray Baldry conceded. What else could he do? Constable Teddy thought in a black and white kind of way and Detective Ray Baldry was an abstract thinker that wanted to unlock the secrets of the written and spoken word. Maybe Constable Teddy was right. Maybe there was no sense in the old adage. If you don’t need meat, then why would you take a chance of getting pooped on? Why bother the poor birds in the first place?
“I have to go home and think about this,” Detective Ray Baldry told Constable Teddy.
“Can’t you stay for dinner?” Constable Teddy asked, “we’re having roast chicken with an avocado and fig marinade.”
Detective Ray Baldry thought for a couple of beats then said, “So, you’re eating a bird? What about the saying we were just talking about?”
“Hey, yeah!” Constable Teddy said with a surprised look on his face. “I guess I am going to have a bird in my hand under stuff from a bush. Neat, I guess the saying is right. You don’t need two birds when you have a bird and a bush.”
Detective Ray Baldry went home.
